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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26443315">Drop Out</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!, ハイパープロジェクション演劇「ハイキュー!!」| Hyper Projection Play "Haikyuu!!" RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Final Haikyuu Quest, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Best Friends, Bit sad, Clouds, College, Cute, Emotional, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Smut, Fluffy, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Haikyuu - Freeform, M/M, Missing, One-Sided Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Pain, Sadness, Slow Burn, Smutty, Teacher and Student, Texting, akaashi has to deal with it, bokuto won’t stop teasing, chatting, cutie, mental health, teacher, teacher student</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:27:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,089</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26443315</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What does it mean to be a college dropout? Or better yet, the student that disappeared of the face of the Earth?</p><p>“I just want to be more than a teacher to you.”</p><p>“You’ve always been more than that to me.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
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    <p>What does it mean to be classed as a high school dropout? For a simple, measly little question, it crosses his mind much more often than anyone would think. Of course it would, he was one of them however not necessarily by choice. Does it class you as someone with little intellect or skills? Or, on the other hand, classing you as someone who doesn’t care about their education? A simple, measly question has so many <i>not<i> so simple nor measly answers. The day replays in his mind over and over, like a broken record that’s stuck on loop. His voice, his laughter, the things he said and the look on his face. The pain he felt, the way his heart had shattered from a simple phrase, a phrase that he was never meant to hear in the first place. Then, Akaashi Keiji disappeared. He took his belongings and made sure that there wasn’t a single trace of his existence. Then left. No one knew where he went, what his plan was, or why he did what he did. His teammates went for his social media first only to find all his accounts were wiped, not a single post, caption or a status was posted. Everything was gone, blank as a new sheet of paper. That was step one of disappearing, it was much easier than it sounded when all he needed to do was clear everything and ignore the door. Then they went to his house, the door was locked and all the lights were off. Next came the police, an investigation began and was soon put to an end as sightings of him at the store occurred. So the question is, instead of being a college dropout, what does it mean to be the student who went missing? <i>Better yet, what does it mean to be the student who disappeared of the face of the Earth?</i></i></i></p><p>
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</p><p>Akaashi opened his eyes, his room was dark and unclean. The curtains were still closed but he could tell sunrise was nearing. He sighed, is this really what he wants? A new start back at Fukurōdani Academy after disappearing for almost a year was not only terrifying, it was sickening. To be back there, to relive those memories, it turned his stomach and made his head swim. Just as people say, you can’t ignore your problems forever. He sat up, and reached for his phone, the feeling was cold against his skin and it sent shivers down his spine. He watched the screen turn on and the text messages arrive, questions about where he was, people wishing he was okay and safe, others wishing he were dead. Yet, there were none from him. None from the only person he wanted to hear from, the only person he could be himself around and allow himself to feel things around. Not a single word from him. “You’re so called best friend goes missing for just under a year and you’re silent about it?” Akaashi scoffs. “Fuck you... Koutorou Bokuto, fuck you...” The two were friends at one point, despite their different views and personalities. They were also teammates. Akaashi looked up to him, admired and idolised him, classed him as family. His laughs would brighten someone’s day, his smile would warm someone’s heart. Who knew that the last thing Akaashi would ever hear him say was that? Fate works in funny ways. Even if those funny ways can string a person up by the legs and bleed them dry.</p><p>Today was the day that he was to show up at school again, determined to build a future for himself instead of staying hidden away from everyone. Akaashi wondered what it’d be like there, new students, new teachers, new teams and clubs. A whole new territory yet the same old memories. His uniform was hung up on his closet door, mocking him, cursing at him for leaving when he did and not turning up for practice the next day. It was early, his alarm hadn’t even gone off yet, he checked the time but the numbers slipped his mind within a heart beat. Three? No, four am. Two hours too early to even bother getting dressed. Instead of listening to the thoughts in his head, he opened a group chat on his phone and read the texts. Everyone was still on it, but they hadn’t been active since a few days after Akaashi vanished. That surprised him, although they were teammates he felt disconnected, different and alone. He knew he wasn’t like them, he never openly expressed how he felt, always kept to his quiet little bubble and the only person he really let in was Bokuto. Akaashi started typing. Then deleting. And typing once again. What does someone even say in a moment like this? ‘Hi, i’m back.’ or ‘Hey.’, it’s the difficulty of finding the right things to say. His heart ached, he wanted to tell them why he left, why he did it but nothing was coming out and when it did, it wasn’t making sense. Instead of confusion that filled his head, it was fear. They’d probably hate him, or resent him. Curse him out for acting the way he did, kick him from the chat. He couldn’t impose on them now, they’re all living their own lives. No one would care about a college dropout. No one would care about the student that went missing. And no one would sure as hell give a crap about Keiji Akaashi, not anymore. Right?</p><p>It was an alarm that woke him this time, Akaashi didn’t even realise he had fallen asleep again. Instead of four, it was seven. His phone was locked again, but the one notification on the screen caught his interest when he picked it up. ‘Akaashi was active two hours ago.’ Sent by Akinora Konoha ten minutes ago. Ten minutes isn’t that long of a time when you’re the person who’s suddenly showed up out of nowhere. The words never left his head, not when he was buttoning on his shirt or doing his tie, or even when he was putting his notebook into his backpack. <i>Akaashi was active two hours ago.<i> Then Konoha was active seventeen minutes ago precisely, why though? Does he check the chat daily? Maybe looking for some sign that Akaashi is okay. He wonders if that was the sign he needed. Akaashi catches his eye in the mirror and sighs, he hasn’t really changed. Added scars on places they shouldn’t be, a face that hasn’t smiled in a long time. Akaashi Keiji looked like a ghost. He walked downstairs, declared he was leaving and planned to walked out the door without grabbing breakfast. “Leaving where?” A feminine voice called out after him. “Is that... your uniform?” His mother. </i></i></p><p>
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    <i>“Yeah.” He didn’t bother to turn around. His mother knew what she was seeing, there was no need to turn around and face her this early in the morning. “School.” </i>
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    <i>“Have a good day, mother.” Akaashi walked out the door and closed it behind him, sighing. The wind was light and warm, the sky was cloudy and the birds were singing their beautiful songs. It’s been a while since he was in a situation like this, early morning silence and peace. It almost felt welcoming, like home. His phone buzzed and he checked the screen. ‘What...?’ This time it was Komi speaking, Komi Haruki. ‘What do you mean he was active two hours ago?’ Akaashi unlocked his phone, he stopped walking, he did nothing but stare. He hasn’t seen the name Komi Haruki in a long time, the idea of it within itself is... scary. Just like the idea of replying, he didn’t know what to say or how to do it. So once again, he left it.<br/>
As the wind goes on, the closer he got to school, the more he felt sick. Every inch of him was wanting to turn around and go back home, every thought was telling him that it was a mistake.  Yet he still opens the doors and walks to the front desk. “I’m... redoing a year, can I... get my schedule?” </i>
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    <i>The lady was pretty, her hair was a glossy red and it was placed beautifully on her shoulders. Her eyes were deep brown, just like the freckles that covered her face. She looked at him and smiled. “Welcome back, Akaashi.” His face grew red and he shrugged, while he was being given directions and his schedule, he overheard people whispering behind him. </i>
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    <i>“Apparently he was a student here.” </i>
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    <i>“Didn’t you know? He was even on a sports team! I think...” </i>
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    <i>“There was a rumour going around that he applied here as soon as he graduated... that’s insane!” </i>
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    <i>Everything was adding up wrong, a new teacher? Applying after they graduated? Who would even do that, and why? Akaashi’s heart stopped, what if it was someone he knew? Someone he used to be friends with? No, he was getting too ahead of himself. He needed to take a deep breath and walk to his class. New teacher or not, he was here for educational purposes, to rebuild the thing he shut down. His life. As he walked to his classrooms the whispers got louder, he didn’t know whether they were about him or the new teacher. Akaashi ignored them as he sat down in the back of his class, putting his head down on the table. The sickness in his stomach grew stronger, he wanted to leave, he <i>needed<i> to leave. The memories, the voices, all of it was overwhelming. It felt wrong. His phone buzzed again, he checked it. ‘Akaashi come back... please...’ Washio Tatsuki. He wanted to explain everything, he wanted to explain everything and make everything better again, to fix it. But all he could say was sorry. The word sorry on his screen was sent, he couldn’t explain himself, he never was able to. <i>Akaashi Keiji, you’re pathetic.<i></i>
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    <i>“Who’s that...? I’ve never seen him before?” Someone whispered to their friend, the knowledge that it was about him made his stomach turn and his eyes well up. He knew he didn’t belong here, he belonged at home, away from everyone. Away from the hurt and pain, the fear and panic. Akaashi wanted a peaceful life, but he got the opposite. “Transfer, maybe.” They stayed silent after that, and Akaashi kept his head down as the tears blurred his vision. Crying on the first day of school like a child saying goodbye to their mother for the first time, he thought he was better than this. </i>
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    <i>“Sleeping on the first day back?” A soft but stern voice floated into his ears and head. His body tensed up and his eyes widened. Why was the voice so familiar? It couldn’t be him. There was no way in hell that it could be him. After all, why would he be redoing a year? Akaashi saw his grad pictures, the pictures of the party. Akaashi decided they just sounded familiar, that the stress was messing with his head. After all, what else could he assume?</i>
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    <i>“Not sleeping.” Akaashi mumbled, keeping his head down. The chair was pulled out beside him and someone was sat in it, he could feel that. He’d rather feel it than see. His eyes were red, cheeks were wet and lips were bleeding from biting them too hard as a distraction to stop from crying, however it didn’t work. It’d be embarrassing to look up at anyone in a state like this, he’d be deemed pathetic or a loser within a split second. Akaashi stood out from the rest, he always has. He was calm and collected during the most stressful parts of his life, he was brought up that way and he knew nothing different. So when he broke down in tears that day, all his morals and life rules were shattered in seconds. </i>
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    <i>“Is it that you have a headache?” He says gently. Akaashi could hear his smile, could see he face but he refused to believe it. He was scared. He was scared to look up, to prove his theory wrong incase he was right. The classroom was silent, his head was burning, everyone’s eyes were on him and he was too afraid to figure out why. </i>
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    <i>“I’m fine.” Akaashi was very much not. His voice was shaky, eyes were teary and vision was blurred. He wanted to go home. To be safe again. </i>
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    <i>“I said i’m fine! Leave me alone...” Akaashi muttered. The figure left and all you could hear was footsteps and a deep sigh. Why did he do that? There was no need to snap, even if he did mutter it. He didn’t want to do that, he didn’t even want to respond but it just came out. <i>Why don’t you ever stay goddamn quiet?!<i></i>
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    <i>“Take this as a lesson guys! If you have a headache, or just simply want to be alone... you can tell me! Thats okay with me!” At this point, there was no mistaking who it was. There wasn’t a single other person on this planet with a voice that cheery, with a voice that warm. A voice like home. It had to be him. Akaashi slowly lifted his head, and looked up at a man sat on his desk at the front of the classroom swinging his legs playfully. “Hi everyone! Nice to meet you all... My name is Bokuto Koutorou! I’m not really sure how you should address me so... call me what you like!” Akaashi stared at him, at his smile, at his face. At him. There was no mistaking it now, the teacher at the front of the class was his old friend, the person who he idolised and looked up to. He was here.</i>
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    <i>Girls in the classroom began to to whisper and giggle about god knows what, then stop when one raises their hand. “So... how exactly old are you?” He smiles again and all Akaashi could do was stare in awe. Bokuto hadn’t realised that he was sat there, he wonders what would happen when he does. </i>
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    <i>“I just turned twenty a few weeks ago! I graduated a year late and well... i really liked it here so i decided to study hard and land a job!” He laughed. A laugh that once sounded like butterflies and a light breeze, a laugh that once felt like home during the summer now felt like agony and sounded like heartache. There wasn’t anything positive about it anymore, he was tainted with memories, ruined. “But uh, i’m not sure if i’m allowed to say that?” </i>
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    <i>Akaashi spoke up. “Why’d you come back?”</i>
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    <i>“I think you know why, Keiji.” At that moment, Akaashi realised one thing. The peaceful life he created for himself could never last as long as he wanted it to, he’d die alone locked in his room with nothing but anxiety and depressive thoughts clouding his brain. His friends would move on, never finding closure. Bokuto would live his life searching for someone who never wanted to be found. They would all waste their time, their moments on someone who never wanted to be seen again. On someone who would rather disappear than face the pain, the feeling of it all. “Welcome back, old friend.” </i>
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    <i>Staying home, it would’ve been a better idea.</i>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Confrontation... ish</h2></a>
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    <p>Akaashi lay in his bed, wrapped up in his duvet. He was warm, on the verge of being freezing and overheating at the same time. He looked at peace but his mind was no where near at ease. It was him. The person who was teaching him, was his ex best friend. Can he even say that? <i>‘Ex Best Friend’<i>, they never really fell apart openly. They just went separate ways. <i>How was this fair? Is this what fate had in store?<i> Akaashi didn’t want to see anyone he knew, not while he was going back to school but the one person he didn’t hear from happens to be his teacher. The logic of fate here was very flawed, Akaashi noticed that. He didn’t want to be seen, to be noticed, but God had other plans. As soon as he walked through his front door, he ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door without a single ounce of hesitation. A conversation with his mother would push him over the edge, he decided that she deserved better than to see him breakdown again. He felt sick. His stomach going around circles, doing front flips and back flips all at once. Akaashi felt dizzy, gross and wrong. He wanted to rip off his skin, to never feel his touch again, or see his face. He wanted it all gone. The memories, his smile and laugh, the way he walks or the way he talks. All of it, he wanted it all gone. The doorbell knocked him out of his thoughts, and he froze, silently begging his mum not to open it. <i>Please, keep it locked. It’s no one important, leave it. Please.<i> She didn’t. Why would she? If someone knocks on your front door, you’re bound to open it and check who it is. <br/>“Oh Bokuto! It’s been a while since i’ve saw you! Ah, look how dressed up you are!” Her voice was loud, it bounced off the walls and landed in Akaashi’s hearing. He shoved himself deeper under the covers. “He’s upstairs in his room... hasn’t spoken a word to me since this morning, hope he’s okay.” <i>Go away.<i></i></i></i></i></i></i></i></i></p><p>
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                <i>Then it was silent for a moment, what followed after the silence was footsteps. Bokuto was here, in his house. Bothering him <i>again<i>. All Akaashi wanted was to be alone, however ‘fate’ has decided that isn’t what he’s going to get. Not now. The footsteps stopped outside his door, and a gentle knock followed. “Akaashi... please let me in.” Akaashi didn’t move, he didn’t move a muscle or an inch. He had no intention of opening the door, or even verbally responding. “Please, I- I’ve missed you.” <i>Missed me?<i> The sentence repeated itself within his head, like a seagull circling dropped fries on the beach. Akaashi couldn’t believe it, not a single word. </i></i></i></i></i>
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                        <i>“You’re lying.” He called out, “You never called or even... even said anything! How is it that you could’ve missed me?!” His voice was laced with anger and hurt, Akaashi was alone for the longest time and Bokuto changed that. However, after that day, Bokuto silently joined the group that excluded him. That was the only surprising thing that happened to Akaashi, being left behind by someone he trusted. Bokuto and him go years back, helping each other through time periods of self harm or potential disordered eating. Bokuto had seen Akaashi go through so much, even if he didn’t speak up about it. The perfect friendship, that’s what it was. Until <i>that day<i>. </i></i></i>
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                            <i>“How could I? I didn’t know if you were...” Bokuto sighed and placed his head on the door. “You were gone in a second and no one even saw where you went, we didn’t know who to call or what to do... you were just gone. We all miss you.” Bokuto whispered the last phrase, it was almost inaudible for anyone who was listening to the conversation. He used to be happy, Akaashi used to smile and laugh around, he used to have fun. Now the idea of it makes him sick, the memories of the people that left him behind drive him crazy. He wants it all to stop. “It’s okay! You don’t have to let me in... just know that, we’re all here for you and-“ The bedroom door opened and Akaashi stared at the man who was now a stranger. Akaashi was wearing sweatpants and an old shirt, that hadn’t been washed in a while, he just hadn’t had the motivation to clean or wash anything. Bokuto was still wearing the suit he was in class. In class? What an odd sentence that is.</i>
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                            <i>“Why’d you come here?” Akaashi whispered,<br/>avoiding eye contact. Bokuto froze and stared at him, the boy he was staring at really was his old friend. He was alive. Akaashi felt warm arms wrap around him. </i>
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                            <i>“You’re alive.” A hug. </i>
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                            <i>Wrong, everything was wrong. His head was wrong, his skin was wrong. Akaashi wanted to slice it off layer by layer, to get his touch off of him. It lingered. The feeling of his arms lingered, all he felt was sick. The pit in his stomach grew and grew, it was eating him alive. Guilt? Or sadness? Or pain? Having his body encased in who seems to be Lucifer in disguise, it doesn’t seem to be fair. “Don’t touch me.” Akaashi muttered, stepping back. Akaashi grabbed his wrist and clawed at it, he wanted to scream and yell, he wanted to feel something other than resentment. “Don’t ever, touch me again.”</i>
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                            <i>“Akaashi?” Bokuto muttered. He sounded hurt. Akaashi felt guilty but swallowed it down. “I- I don’t understand?” Stay calm. Anger won’t get anyone anywhere. Bokuto looked down and saw blood rising to the skin of Akaashi’s wrist, he grabbed his hand. </i>
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                            <i>“I said don’t ever fucking touch me! You’re disgusting and- and gross and... you fucked up my head! Don’t touch me!” Akaashi screamed, he never once looked up but he could picture Bokuto’s face. Shock. A mouth partially open, and eyes widened. Akaashi choked on a sob. “It’s your fault! It’s all your fault...“ Akaashi fell to his knees and screamed out of pure frustration. “Why did you have to go and do that?! Why did i choose to trust you?!” Bokuto took a step back, staring at his old friend who was on the floor breathing heavily. He didn’t know what to do or say, whether to question Akaashi or stay quiet. </i>
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                            <i>“Akaashi, I-“ Bokuto stopped himself, sliding down the wall and sitting down with crossed legged instead. Bokuto knee Akaashi well, all he needed was someone there. They didn’t need to talk, or laugh or do anything. Akaashi needed a shoulder and Bokuto was the only one available. “You’re gonna be okay.” </i>
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                            <i>Akaashi laughed bitterly. “Yeah? What makes you say that?” Akaashi was still on his knees, bleeding out of his wrist, tears streaming down his face. “What makes you think I’ll be okay now?” This is when he looked up and met Bokutos eyes. They were as beautiful as ever, they never lost that shine, that happy gloss to it. They haven’t changed a bit. Shocking. </i>
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                            <i>“Because!” Bokuto smiled. “You’re Keiji Akaashi, my old friend.” </i>
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                            <i>Akaashi stared at him for a moment, the phrase ‘old friend’ mirrored itself again and again. “Get out.” He stood up and closed his bedroom door, turning the lock and sitting on the edge of his bed. If clawing out the bad feelings were possible, he’d do it. If slicing off each layer of his skin to feel something else, he’d do it. But that’s not how loving works. And it never will be. <br/>Home life was much quieter after that, Bokuto left after talking to Akaashi’s mother for a minute or too, then it was silent again. All that could be heard was his shaky breathing. Nothing more, nothing less. He was alone again, safe again, hidden away from everyone and everything that could ever hurt him. <br/>He never had that chance before. He never had the chance to vanish, to protect himself and build a wall. Then that day happened, and he snapped. Everyone he had ever known and trusted went against him, everyone that ever swore they’d protect him were eventually the ones that hurt him. It’s funny how fate works, fate can be beautiful and deadly all at the same time. Akaashi stared up at his ceiling, for once his head was silent and empty. He didn’t feel a single thing, no pain or guilt, no bad memories waltzing in, he was free for the moment. So he sat up, and checked his phone. His notifications were empty, everything truly was quiet. “Why would you even turn up at my house?” He whispered to himself, obviously with no plans to receive an answer. “Asshole... you haven’t changed a bit.” </i>
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                            <i>After some difficulty, Akaashi managed to shower and eat some dinner with his mother at the table. The idea of doing this was daunting, and a large step was taken to be able to change into clean clothes and eat food that doesn’t consist of energy drinks of chip packets. “You know... maybe talking to them could help.” His mother broke the silence, Akaashi stared down at his bowl silently. Was she right? Who really knows, there isn’t any way to tell anything unless he actually went for it. “Koutorou, he was telling me they all speak about you, wonder where you are... how you’re doing.” </i>
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                            <i>“They’ll hate me.” Akaashi whispered, his mother sighed. “They always have done, they never-“ </i>
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                            <i>“How are you to be so sure of that if you don’t talk to them, Keiji? What you’re doing... it isn’t fair on yourself,” His mother took a sip of water and cleared her throat. “As your mother, i’m telling you to speak to them. You were all friends at one point.” Akaashi stayed quiet, of course they were all friends at one point, they played on the same team. However, it wasn’t like that now. They all graduated while Akaashi was building an obsidian wall to keep everything out. </i>
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                            <i>“I don’t think you understand... I vanished, I walked out! I didn’t even say goodbye but- but they... they all, you know what they said!” Akaashi raised his voice, not out of anger, out of desperation. He was afraid to text, to call, to arrange a meet up. He was too afraid to do any of that, it’s taken him a year to turn on his phone and actually look at the group chat. “They don’t want me anymore, they never really did... I- I’m finished.” Akaashi stood up and washed his dishes before returning to his room and locking the door. He leant his head against the door and whimpered to himself, he was so alone, so not okay. <br/>He grabbed his wrist and clawed at it again, clawing harder and deeper. Drawing more blood, raising more skin, more pain was to be caused. “Die, die, die, die, die!” He repeated over and over again, ignoring the patter of his blood hitting the floor, the coldness of it running across his fingers. He ignored it all until he felt like coming to his senses was safe to do. He hated himself because of everyone else, the logic doesn’t make sense, but the feeling of it was very real. “Please... just stay away from me.”  His fallen tears mixed with the blood on the floor and all Akaashi could do was stare, empty and numb. It hit him, violently. </i>
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                            <i>‘Why would we be friends with him? Look at him... he’s a mess, he barely even speaks to the coach let alone us.’ </i>
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                            <i>This time, Akaashi agreed with them, with all of them. If he were them, he wouldn’t be friends with himself either.</i>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Promise</h2></a>
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    <p>With every word written down on the chalkboard, the chalk made a scratching sound against the board. It bounces off every surface in the room, getting louder each time. Akaashi was staring out of the window, messing with the hem of the bandage on his left arm. A headache was forming, so he figured that watching the cars drive past would help, it didn’t. As if Bokuto could feel his headache and annoyance, he frowns at Akaashi before finishing the sentence he was writing. “So, copy this down into your notebooks please! Sorry... my handwriting could be better...” Better handwriting. Bokuto always struggled with that, perfect notes and neat writing was never his strong suit and now he’s wishing that he spent time on it. The class openly say it’s okay, Akaashi doesn’t pick up his pen. He doesn’t even turn to watch the board, why should he? With the way things are going, he might as well be expelled and shunned out himself. Granted, that would leave a much larger permanent mark than just vanishing again. </p><p>“Can i sharpen my pencil?” A girl asks, Bokuto nods his head and she stands up. Akaashi hadn’t learnt her name yet, nor did he have any plans to bother trying. Her hair was a light shade of blue and judging by the looks on every other guy in the class, it was clear she had them all tied around her finger. They were puppets and she was their master. However, the girl looks at Bokuto with heart eyes deciding that he is the one she wants. Akaashi stared at her, his eyes were dark and dim, he didn’t want to admit that he was mad at her for even bothering to try with him yet, he was. She pulls up her skirt to try and catch his attention, it doesn’t work, Bokuto’s eyes are on Akaashi and no one else. The girl saunters to the front of the classroom to use the sharpener, swaying her hips back and forth as if she were a stripper at work. Akaashi assumes that’s how she’s always been, she doesn’t look shy or discouraged, if anything she seems to be glad that the classes attention is on her and no one else. Akaashi bit the inside of his mouth, tempted to yell at her for acting so pathetically childish but the words wouldn’t come out either way. Just as she reaches the sharpener, she drops her pencil. Anyone with a brain would see that it wasn’t an accident, she did it on purpose. Akaashi clicked his finger and sighed. The girl bent over and to his avail, her bottom half was on show. The whole class had their eyes on her ass, wanting to take pictures, to do something. Akaashi looked out of the window again, there was no need to take part in her little game. It was childish. “My bad, sir.” Her voice was laced with a seductive tone, it made Akaashi sick. The lengths that people will go to for a bit of attention was shocking, but then again, he disappeared to avoid it. </p><p>Akaashi places his head down on his desk as quiet as he can, he didn’t want to be bothered, to be stared at. However, Bokuto’s eyes never once left Akaashi, so it didn’t take long for him to be noticed at all. Bokuto stood up, the girl stood up quickly and almost ran back to her seat realising her little act had failed. She did not get his attention. Bokuto walks toward Akaashi with his hands in his pockets, he appeared calm, his aura was clear but his eyes are glued to the boy with his head on the desk. Akaashi wasn’t asleep, he just needed darkness. That was the only thing he wanted really, his head hurt and he didn’t want to see some random girls underwear. Wasn’t really his forte. Akaashi wanted to get the class over and done with so he could go home, after all it was finally last period. Bokuto leant down on the desk with his elbows and sighed. “Alright, Keiji... if you would please lift up your head,” His voice was low and even, he was trying his best to be patient with him. Akaashi tenses up, his head began to pound and his stomach twisted up in fear. The same feeling never really seems to go away. It was as if he was cursed with the feeling of fear for the rest of his life, the worst curse to ever exist. Akaashi didn’t know if he was being watched over by Bokuto as a teacher looking out for his student, or a friend looking out for someone he cares about. At the moment, there’s a thin line between the two and he can’t decipher either. Akaashi lifts his head and meets Bokuto’s eyes. “See me after class, please.” He whispers and Akaashi opens his mouth to say something, but decided to rest his head against the glass instead. No point in fighting. Not here. </p><p>“Okay.” </p><p>Bokuto warns the girl to not mess around like that again or he’d have to tell the school board about it. She nodded her head and flushed red, Akaashi chuckled. She deserved that. </p><p>When class finishes, Akaashi waits for everyone to leave before he looks at Bokuto. “What?” Was all he could manage to get out. Akaashi has a small feeling that unless they sort things out, this will be a daily thing and the two of them would get annoyed. “What is it that you want from me?” </p><p>“Did you wrap that up right?” Bokuto motioned to his left arm and Akaashi shrugged. </p><p>“I don’t really care.” </p><p>“I feel like you should start to, Keiji. You’re going to get sick if you don’t start caring about yourself, do you think I can just sit here and watch you slowly kill yourself without a care in the world?” Bokuto kept his voice calm, Akaashi shrugged again. “What do you have against me, Kash... i’m trying my best here.” </p><p>Akaashi stared at him with dark eyes and a frown. “For someone I trusted with my life, you sure seemed to talk about me to the others a lot. About how you wished we’d never met, about how you prayed that i’d just pack it up and quit because i was holding you back.” Bokuto stared at him, less calm this time, more panicked. “What? You don’t think I heard it all? I’m the quiet one, remember! I don’t make myself seen unless i want to be...” </p><p>Bokuto stayed quiet for a moment, that moment felt like years to Akaashi but there’s nothing he could do. “You... you weren’t-“</p><p>“-supposed to hear? Yeah, i figured.” The room fell silent, Bokuto cursed under his breath and Akaashi watched. Letting it out felt a lot less great than he’d expected it to. The urge to apologise and grovel on his knees was overwhelming, Akaashi felt like he had overstepped a barrier. “Why am i still here, Bokuto? What is it that you wanted to say to me?” </p><p>“I wanted to talk things out... I want you to be okay again, you’re not the Akaashi I knew anymore and I miss that.” First came a chuckle, then a deep laugh. Akaashi wiped tears from his eyes as he laughed. </p><p>“Do you not get it? I don’t want to see you! I don’t want to talk to you! I trusted you, I worked hard with you and I was there anytime you needed me and one day, it’s as if all that didn’t fucking matter! What went through your head, man?! Why take it out on me?!” Akaashi’s laughter turned to screams, they were screams of pain, the stuff he’d been needing to get out for months just came out in a classroom. “What happened to us...?” Bokuto stood up and sat across from Akaashi. </p><p>“I was mad at you, you were always so perfect and I was... I was jealous, I didn’t mean it, I swear.” He was quiet, there no sign of lies or malicious twists to his words but Akaashi shook his head. </p><p>“When you’re mad at someone, you talk it out. If someone hurts you, you talk it out! You don’t wish you had never met!” Akaashi froze, he was being hypocritical. Someone hurt him, and they didn’t talk it out. In fact, one moved on to graduate and the other disappeared. “I- I didn’t mean to yell.” </p><p>“You had a right to.” </p><p>“Not inside a stupid classroom...” Akaashi whispered to himself. “I hate you...” </p><p>“You have a right to.” </p><p>Akaashi sighed. “I hate you and everything you stand for... now please send me home.” He didn’t mean it. Akaashi didn’t hate him, he was just hurt. Akaashi didn’t know how to hate anyone, no one has ever been that bad to him before. </p><p>Bokuto shook his head, “I have something I want you to do first... I have a notebook, a spare one over there at the front,” Akaashi looked to where he was pointing and in his line of sight was a black notebook, there were no patterns or anything on the front. It was plain. “You can have it, you can write down anything you want it whenever you need to.” </p><p>“What? Like a therapy book?” Akaashi asked. Bokuto nodded. </p><p>“Exactly,” Bokuto stood up to get the notebook, he came back with a pen too. He placed it on the table and Akaashi stared at both. Why was he going to such efforts? “Start now. Anything that crosses your mind, write down. You don’t have to write, you can draw like you used to! Or you can scribble or rip out pages too! Do as you please, as long as it keeps you calm and you get things out, it’s okay.” </p><p>Akaashi stayed quiet, he was apprehensive. He had a right to be. If something was wrong, he’d feel it. Yet, he felt nothing but caution. “This doesn’t go to any higher up?” </p><p>“What like the principal? Ha! ‘Course not, buddy! I want to help you, me. So i’m going to do it alone.” Bokuto smiled. “I’m off to take a leak, do what you want. Play music, stick on a movie... you do know all my passwords so... uh, yeah! I’ll be back in a couple!” Bokuto stood up and left the classroom, closing the door behind him. Akaashi didn’t move for a second before opening the notebook and picking up the pen. Anything could be written down in here, anything. The world was in his hands and yet all he wants to do is throw it away. <br/>He begins to write. Then scribbles it out again. Writing what he’s feeling was just like texting, he doesn’t know what to say or how to word it. It was all a big game and he was stuck on a level with no walkthrough. Stuck on a level, with no allies to help. Instead of writing, he opened spotify and turned on his music. The volume was full and his headphones were in, the beat of the songs flowed through his body and through the pen. He started drawing. Akaashi let the music control the pen in his hand to create a drawing that showed how he felt. There was no thought process, he didn’t think about anything that was happening. Bokuto was stood at the front of the classroom with a smile on his face, Akaashi was too busy to notice he had even returned. Bokuto watched him silently, seeing the student that went missing, return with a hole in his heart that needed mending. “For someone who said he hated me, you’re doing more than enough to prove otherwise buddy...” Bokuto sat down at his desk and leant back, thinking to himself. </p><p>If it truly was his fault that Akaashi decided to leave, then he not only needs to apologise, he needs to fix it. Bokuto needed to introduce Akaashi to the world again piece by piece, and the notebook was the beginning. A slow start to a long journey, “Hate me all you want, i’m not going anywhere.” </p><p>“Then don’t.” Akaashi responded, he paused his music a minute ago and noticed Bokuto had returned. This time it was Bokuto that was too lost in thought to notice. “Do i have to show you this?” </p><p>“Not if you don’t want to, it’s not mine, i can’t sit here and tell you that you have to.” Bokuto chuckled to himself. “We go at your pace.” </p><p>“We? Who said that we’re a ‘we’ again?” Akaashi closed the notebook and put it in his bag. The pen was left on the desk. “Last time I checked, we went our separate ways and moved on.” </p><p>“I graduated and you went missing, that’s not moving on.” </p><p>Akaashi shrugged, “Take it how you want, after all, i’m still a college dropout until I graduate.” Bokuto gasped and nearly fell backwards of his chair. An idea landed in his head. “What?” </p><p>Bokuto laughed. “Alright then! That’s the plan!” He couldn’t stop laughing as Akaashi stared at him with a confused face. Why the laughter? Nothing was funny. “I help you graduate, you don’t have to forgive me or pretend that what I said doesn’t hurt but... let me help you graduate. If I can be the person who helps you get there, then that’s enough for me! We don’t need to talk ever again if you don’t want to, we don’t ever have to think about each other again if that’s the case but... graduation is going to happen for you, and until then i’m going to be by your side.” </p><p>Akaashi blinked, then stood up. “Do what you want, if that’s that then sure, whatever, deal.” Bokuto never stopped smiling and Akaashi stared at him. “Don’t make me regret this, Koutorou Bokuto.” </p><p>“You have my word, Keiji Akaashi.”</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Home Visit</h2></a>
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    <p>Akaashi lays on his bed looking upwards at his ceiling, he doesn’t know what to do with the emotions running through his body. Is he mad? Or happy? Graduation is the clear goal, but what if something happens in between then? “Why didn’t i just stay home?” He muttered to himself, fumbling with a stuffed animal at his finger tips. If he had stayed home, sure he wouldn’t graduate but he’d be safe inside, away from the people that hurt him. Yet, he wouldn’t get to hear Bokuto’s explanation, or get the notebook, or witness any of it. Granted, life would be a lot better if he didn’t see that girls ass today, but that’s one thing he’d rather not see. His room was silent, as usual. There was no music, no birds outside, you could barely hear his shallow breathing. It was silent. How can someone be so, bright? Especially in a time like this? The start of a new friendship could begin or end in a second, and as long as Akaashi is comfortable then so is he. Akaashi couldn’t wrap his head around it. Why would Bokuto go to those lengths and then potentially give it up at graduation? Akaashi sighed. Everything about Bokuto was so bright to him. His golden eyes that glistened in all types of light, his wide smile and laugh that would follow soon after. All of it was so bright and warm, perfect if you will. Akaashi could tell himself that everything about Bokuto was perfect, but the memories that were made were not, and that’s the only thing stopping him from being normal again. <br/>Normal. What does normal even mean? Back to his quiet self who was somehow popular or back to his quiet self who was being lied to? The question encased many answers and Akaashi chose to not to think of any. He stared at his ceiling and wondered how difficult this class would be, the other students don’t know who he is but Bokuto does, and he’s not very good at hiding that. Akaashi chuckled dryly to himself wondering if it was worth dropping out over, even though building his life up again was the main plan. Strippers get paid. A lot. If he worked hard enough, he knew he’d be able to make some sort of money. He definitely has the body for it. </p><p>Maybe if Akaashi sat down and spoke to his mother about all this in the sense that she would listen and dish out some decent advice, maybe he could believe in himself a lot more than he already does. Of course, that isn’t a lot, but that’s to no surprise at all. His phone vibrating shook Akaashi out of his thoughts, he stared at it. Whoever was ringing wasn’t planning to put it down or give up. “What?” Akaashi murmurs, he was exhausted both physically and mentally. Having a conversation over the phone wasn’t necessarily a plan that was on his evening list. </p><p>“Akaashi! Hey, hey, hey!” Bokuto’s loud and cheery voice came through the phone speakers and Akaashi visibly flinched. “How are you feeling, buddy?” </p><p>Akaashi hesitates before answering, he didn’t really know. Akaashi has never really known what it means to be classed as okay, whether that’s happy or just neutral. “I- I suppose i’m fine, yeah.” The phone call was placed onto speaker phone and set down onto Akaashi’s chest. He didn’t want to move. </p><p>“You don’t always have to be fine, y’know...” Bokuto sighed and the familiar song of guilt hit deep into his stomach. “I know the things i’ve said aren’t... they’re not helping any of this now but i mean it when I say that you can trust me.” Trust. Trust was, is and will always be a funny word with a funny little meaning. In a nutshell, to have every bodies back and have people depend on you for when they need you. Akaashi knew what trust was, how to get it, how to obtain it. Yet, he just ignores it. He doesn’t need to be trusted by everyone around him, it’s easier to stay alone. </p><p>“You can’t ask for me to trust you, you have to earn it,” Akaashi sighed. “I’m sorry if that was harsh...” </p><p>Akaashi could hear the smile Bokuto’s voice, “You have a right to be harsh! Anyways... I just wanted to check up on you, but if it’s too much right now then i-“ Akaashi sat up and Bokuto silenced himself. The sudden sound of duvet covers concerned him. “What? What’s wrong?”</p><p>“Can you... come over?” Akaashi whispered. The line went silent for a minute and a half, Bokuto was in shock and Akaashi was red in the face. </p><p>“You- You want me to come over?” Bokuto muttered, “Are- Really?” </p><p>Akaashi bit the inside of his cheek, figuring out how to word his next thought. “I guess I just don’t want to be alone right now.” Bokuto hummed and Akaashi heard his door close. </p><p>“Be there soon, buddy.” Bokuto hung up the phone and left his house, making the journey to Akaashi’s home. Bokuto was nervous. A day ago Akaashi was yelling at him to never touch him or even look at him, and now he’s getting invited over. A rather a large jump. Bokuto sighs sadly, he regretted saying what he did that day as soon as he found out Akaashi didn’t show up to practice the day after. It was like a pit, it grew in his stomach every single day and didn’t have any sense of when to stop. Bokuto and Akaashi used to be best friends, no they can barely look at each other without wondering who the other person is. <br/>Bokuto knocked on Akaashi’s door and said his hello’s to Akaashi’s mother before walking up the stairs and knocking on the second door. “Hey, hey, hey! The one and only is here!” Akaashi silently smiled as he opened his bedroom door, Bokuto was wearing sweats too except his more most likely freshly washed. He moved to the side and let Akaashi in. </p><p>“Sit anywhere you’d like to.” </p><p>Bokuto pointed to the bed in the far corner of the room, “Even there?” He expected a no, but instead received a hum. </p><p>“I did say anywhere,” Akaashi muttered, laying down in the corner of his bed. The mattress dipped next to him as Bokuto sat down. “It’s been a while since you’ve been in here, hasn’t it?” It was slightly awkward, the fear in Akaashi grew louder and louder but he tried to ignore it the best he could. </p><p>“Have you spoke to them?” Bokuto stared at the framed photo on his desk, it was a photo of the whole team. They were all smiling, even Akaashi had a genuine smile plastered onto his face. “The team, i mean... not some rando on the street.” Akaashi shook his head. He was embarrassed to say he was too scared to. “I think you should, you don’t have to obviously but... might be nice for-“</p><p>“I have my doubts, but I didn’t call you over to talk about that stuff, it’s depressing.” Akaashi grabbed his stuff animal and held it close. “Are you really going to help me graduate? Or is because technically you have to?” </p><p>Bokuto lay down next to Akaashi and placed his head onto Akaashi’s shoulder. Akaashi tensed up but slowly began to relax when he realised that Bokuto wasn’t going to do anything else, he was being respectful. “Technically I have to, but if you were to drop out I wouldn’t be able to stop you as a teacher... but! As a friend, i could drag your sorry ass back to school every day of the week if i needed to. You don’t have to forgive me, but let me try.” Akaashi stayed silent for a moment, it wasn’t an awkward silence, it was a comfortable one. The two men were lay there comfortably, Akaashi secretly missed the feeling of being around someone who cares. It felt warm, nice, like home. He didn’t get that often. </p><p>“I already agreed, didn’t I?” </p><p>“Well- Like... yeah but, still-“ Bokuto laughed. “How’s writing in that notebook?” Akaashi froze and Bokuto laughed again, this time is was a heavy laugh. His shoulders bounce and his threw his head back. “Fuck sake- I knew you wouldn’t touch it this quickly and yet I still asked!” The laughing didn’t stop for a bit, and Akaashi cracked a little smile. “You... You smiled!”</p><p>Akaashi sat up and avoided eye contact, “I did no such thing.” He was never good at lying, his ears would grow red and his voice would go a little deeper. Bokuto gently shoved him. “I did not smile.”</p><p>“Oh yeah? You do know what a smile is like?” The cockiness in Bokuto’s voice brought back the feeling of family, of old times. “Cuz if not... it’s when the corners of your mouth go up like... this!” Bokuto smiled, and used his fingers to pull the corners of Akaashi’s mouth upwards. “Yeah! Like that!” </p><p>“Get off me!” Akaashi wasn’t angry, or hurt, or scared. His tone was playful. “Moron... you’re the only one smiling here!” To prove his point, Akaashi pursed his lips and pouted. Bokuto stared at him with a partially opened mouth, his eyes were sparkling in the light. “Boku...to...?” Bokuto wrapped his arms around Akaashi gently, and silently cried to himself. “What- What are you...?” </p><p>“It’s really you... Keiji Akaashi, you haven’t changed a bit.” Bokuto choked back on a sob and Akaashi flushed red. He was never good at dealing with other people’s emotions, never has been. He’d always give them a pat on the back or tell them to try and get over it, after apologising profusely for not knowing what to say. “I’ve missed you so much...” </p><p>Akaashi hugged Bokuto back, they both froze. It was instinct, Akaashi didn’t even know he was moving. “You’re stuck with me for a while, aight dumbass? You got me till the day i graduate.” Akaashi chuckled and Bokuto sniffed. </p><p>“That’s fine with me, dickwad.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Give it Back!!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Slightly NSFW /</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Koutorou Bokuto. The guy himself doesn’t really seem like the type to stay calm in serious situations, more or less, he seems like the type of person to laugh nervously or ironically laugh at a joke he said two years ago. However all of that changes when it comes to Akaashi, he stays quiet, respects the way Akaashi feels and doesn’t dare step out his boundaries. It could catch any one by surprise, especially Akaashi. “You’re just fine with that?” </p>
<p>Akaashi’s teacher, who also happens to be Bokuto smiles widely once again lighting up the room that seemed so dark before. “Why wouldn’t I be? In all honesty, I’m just glad to have you back in my life...” Bokuto’s smile faltered, Akaashi pretended not to notice. “Where’d your phone go?” Akaashi sat up and looked at his desk, to no surprise of his own, his phone wasn’t where he left it. Akaashi slowly looked towards Bokuto, who happened to be smiling to himself. “I got your phone~!” Bokuto giggled and dangles Akaashi’s phone in his hand. Akaashi growls under his breath and Bokuto laughs. “Aw, you’re mad at me.”</p>
<p>Bokuto jumps up and Akaashi follows soon after, “Give me back my phone!” Akaashi tried to reach for it, instead of grabbing it like he had planned to, Bokuto had jumped out of the way. Akaashi growls again. “Hey! <i>Give me my fuckin’ phone!</i>” </p>
<p>Bokuto pouts playfully, “Sorry buddy, as your teacher I <i>personally</i> think you should watch your tone. I think I’ll keep it.” Whenever he could get a chance, Bokuto would always turn something into a game. In this case, he realised Akaashi needed a game in his life and decided to take the closest thing near him and tease the poor child. Although Akaashi seems annoyed or mad at these things, he knows deep down that without them, Bokuto wouldn’t be Bokuto. And Bokuto, was perfect. </p>
<p>“Listen yeah, I invited you over for company and nothing else! I didn’t want trouble or anythin’, I swear!” Akaashi holds out his hand, half praying that Bokuto wouldn’t give in and half praying that he would. </p>
<p>“Nah.” He said, as blunt as ever. </p>
<p>“Come <i>on!</i>” Akaashi screams. Bokuto opens the bedroom door and made his way down the kitchen, Akaashi’s mother had left a while ago to meet a friend or two so no one would be affected by the screaming adults... or children. When he sees Bokuto walking away without a care in the world... it does something to him. It impacts him so much more differently to anything else. Akaashi wanted the attention on him, and it isn’t. <br/><i>It makes him livid</i>.</p>
<p>Akaashi inhales and then he charges. He runs as fast as his body could take him, following the man that clearly gave no fucks in the world. Bokuto heard the heavy footsteps and turned around with pure fear across his face, “Oh... shit-“ He pushes out before running away. When it came between Akaashi and Bokuto, there speed was more or less the same. Bokuto could push a win, barely. Akaashi was a dangerous person to race, he would leave anyone behind the dust therefore the ones running away should not only be scared, they should run as if their life depended on it. <br/>This was Akaashi’s house, he knew where everything was, every chair or table, cabinet or dropped book. Akaashi had the upper hand no matter what, minus a few elbow bumps off the door frames. Bokuto closes the door just before Akaashi could reach it, instead of opening it, he loops around and walks into the kitchen. Bokuto was sat on the kitchen counter with a crazy grin plastered on his face.  </p>
<p>“Give me... my- my phone... back-“ Akaashi pants, Bokuto playfully shakes his head while panting just as much. He jumps off the counter when Akaashi took a few steps forward, causing Bokuto to take a few steps backwards. He tries to unlock it and pouts. </p>
<p>“You changed the password? <i>Boring</i>.” Akaashi paused. There was no need for Bokuto to be running, he could easily outrun Akaashi if he pushed hard enough. Regardless, Akaashi holds out his hand one more time. </p>
<p>“Sir, i’d like my mobile phone back, pretty please.” Akaashi forces a smile. </p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Koutorou Bokuto you absolute asshole! Just please give me back my damn phone!” Akaashi screams, Bokuto blinks at him and then smiles. Then, he laughed. “You’re so dead... I’m- I’m so going to kill you.” </p>
<p>“If that’s how you’d choose to address me then... who am I to stop you?” Bokuto throws his head back laughing and Akaashi’s face flushed a dark shade of crimson. “Look at you! Do I really leave <i>that much</i> of an impact on you?” He froze. A mix of embarrassment and anger flushed through his entire body, the last time they were this close, he was no where near this much of a flirt. <i>Ever</i>. </p>
<p>“Phone. <i>Now</i>.” Instead of handing it over, he puts his hands behind him and shows empty hands. Akaashi growled. </p>
<p>“Hey! Did you know that if I confiscate your phone in class, you can-“ Akaashi swings himself forward and throws his hands into Bokuto’s back pockets. As a sports person, no wonder his body was so well sculpted. Akaashi tried to ignore it. He reaches deep into the pockets but finally came to the conclusion it wasn’t there, letting out a frustration groan. But that would be impossible, right? Akaashi saw him put the phone into his back pockets. “<i>Akaashi~</i>.” Bokuto chuckles while grabbing his hands, trying to push Akaashi away. Akaashi hugs and sweats away his hands, throwing his own into Bokuto’s front pockets. He knew deep down that his phone was in there somewhere. As he dug deeper into pockets that seemed to never end, his fingers brush against something. “Hey, Akaashi... buddy-“ Bokuto was breathless and red in the face, “Watch what you touch, don’t want to start something in your kitchen... do you?” A groan filled the room. It wasn’t Akaashi’s. </p>
<p>He immediately pulls his hands out of Bokuto’s pockets and stared at them with wide eyes. He just wanted his phone back, no other trouble. However, this was Bokuto. Akaashi looks up with a slightly red face and noticed that his phone was being held between Bokuto’s left fingers. The bastard wanted to do that. Akaashi reached for it and to no surprise, Bokuto saw it coming and jumped out of the way. Again. “Give in already, little boy~! This is my phone now.” </p>
<p>“Look, Bokuto, Koutorou or whatever the <i>fuck</i> you want to be addressed by. You have five goddamn seconds to give me back my phone or i’m going to climb onto the counter and break your neck.” Akaashi was calm. Bokuto smirked. “Five... Four...” He didn’t move an inch. “Three... Two... One.” Akaashi finished counting down and went to fulfil his statement. When he reached out for his phone, he lost his footing and slipped. The world went slow, Bokuto’s smile dropped and Akaashi felt fear build up. Then, Bokuto flipped around and held up the klutz of a boy up with his free hand, and the space between them immediately closed. <br/>Akaashi was so close to getting his phone, that getting flustered would mean all of this work was for nothing. “For your language and your attitude, I can pass off the punishment that you... as my student... should be receiving.” Bokuto whispered. The two of them were so close that when Bokuto exhaled, Akaashi could still feel the warmth on his lips. Akaashi tries to move backwards and only fell forward more, they were inches apart, maybe even closer. “But only if you give me something in return...” He murmurs. His once shining, golden eyes were now glossy, dark and mysterious. Akaashi would be lying to himself if he said that it didn’t interest him. Bokuto smirks, the playful Bokuto that was running around with his old friend was gone, hidden away from a man who knew what he was doing. Akaashi’s gaze drops down to his lips, they really were perfect. The smirk that they were placed into really proved how bright Bokuto’s smile can be. His lips were soft and plump, a little pink and a little glossy. Bokuto licks his lips and Akaashi flushed red, wondering where on Earth his mind was getting to. “<i>Come on then, little boy... what is it you can offer?</i>” </p>
<p>Kiss him. </p>
<p>“No.” Akaashi whispered. Bokuto had let his guard down, and Akaashi had taken that opportunity to to grab his phone. When it was comfortable in his hands, he jumped off the counter and ran upstairs back into his room. “What are you playing at?!” Akaashi screamed through his locked bedroom door. He catches his own reflection, his face was dark red. The type of blush he’d never experienced for, simply because of his teacher. </p>
<p>“What? You like it?” Bokuto leaned his head against the door and laughed. “The colour on your face says yes so even if you openly say no, your face calls you out, buddy...” Akaashi opened his mouth to talk and no sound came out. “Speechless?” </p>
<p>“You- I mean... the whole thing with that and then- I didn’t even... and you just-“ Akaashi stumbled over his sentences, feeling the heat from his face spread to his ears and neck. “<i>Dude?!</i>” </p>
<p>Bokuto laughed even louder, “I didn’t expect you to be the type of guy to get it on in the kitchen,” Akaashi slowly walked over to his bed and stared at the floor in shock. Who was this man in his home? It wasn’t the old Bokuto. An imposter, maybe. “Last time we saw each other, you were like a little kid! Now look at you, digging deep and-“ </p>
<p>“Shut the fuck up!” Akaashi’s voice broke as he screamed. The embarrassment couldn’t get any worse, not anymore. </p>
<p>Bokuto tapped on the door twice, “It was fun seeing you today! I’ll be on my way now, see you in class!” And with that, the house was silent again. When the front door closed Akaashi let out a scream of all types of frustration, he was at a loss for words. All of that, for his phone? <br/>Bokuto heard the scream while walking down the street, he laughed to himself quietly. How amusing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Note</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Today was a normal day in detention, well, he wouldn’t call it detention. It was just him holding back whoever he wanted to, whoever messed up on something and needed extra support or someone he just wanted to talk to. Once again, nothing has changed. His favourite student was here, his old friend who he had missed greatly. Keiji Akaashi. After disappearing for a year, he was rather behind on the stuff that he’s currently teaching. However, today was a good day for him, he had completed the work that was set and now had his nose buried into the notebook that was gifted to him by the teacher. He looked very concentrated and Bokuto had to admit, it was very cute to see. <br/>Bokuto diverts his attention to the notebook on his desk, drawing and writing notes about his old friend. It had been a while since they had saw each other, so naturally, Bokuto writes down whatever memories he can to saviour them more than he did the last time. There was missed opportunities in the past, there will be no more in the present. Bokuto had noticed that Akaashi bites the inside of his mouth a lot, then licks his lips afterwards. It shouldn’t be attractive but he found it very much so. His lips look like a jigsaw craving the last piece, the last piece? Bokuto smiled, the last piece was his lips. <br/>They’d been friends for the longest time, but Bokuto felt more than that. He always has done, so having him alone so many times a week, was exciting. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It was as if Akaashi could feel eyes on his head, he glanced up and caught Bokuto’s eyes. Akaashi’s lips curl into a smile and he swallows, closing the notebook on his desk and pushing it out of view. If Akaashi knew what he was doing, he’d probably take a step back rather than a step forward, it was for Bokuto’s view not his. <br/>Akaashi saunters towards him with his hands on the back of his head. His hips are swaying gently as if dancing to a silent song. Akaashi seems more comfortable today and Bokuto could admit it was driving him insane. He looks down and exhales slowly. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Koutorou... sir?” His voice is soft and melodic, Bokuto loved to hear it. Bokuto breathes in and looks up, smiling. It has never occurred to him that Akaashi was this close, but he was. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“What can I do for you, Keiji?” Bokuto asked and Akaashi scoffed. “Keiji?” Akaashi bent over and placed a gentle kiss onto Bokuto’s lips. His lips were soft and sweet, welcoming and warm. Bokuto longed for more. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Keiji...? It’s odd hearing you call me that, Bokuto...” Bokuto was beyond shocked, he was starstruck. He stares at the attractive student who was stood in front of him, everything about Akaashi was perfect to him. And that’s all he will be to him too. Akaashi walks around his desk and stands directly in front of him, Bokuto barely has time to react when Akaashi places himself on his lap. It was instinct to wrap his arms around Akaashi’s small waist. Today was the day Bokuto didn’t ignore the voice in his head telling him that Akaashi was his, and no one else’s. Bokuto refused to share, Akaashi was his and his only. “My house is so lonely without you in it... fancy coming over?” </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Bokuto grins. Akaashi knew why to say and when to say it, even if his words were a little jumbled. Bokuto was so in love with him. “Bokuto... Sir.” Akaashi whispers into his ear, usually Bokuto was the tease. His face was inches away from Bokuto’s and he could feel Akaashi’s hot breath against his lips. Bokuto gently lifts up his chin with his index finger and places his lips onto Akaashi’s. He chuckles into the kiss and deepens it by tilting his head to the side. Bokuto reaches behind him and grabs his-</i>
</p>
<p>Bokuto shoots awake, panting. He was in bed, in his room, alone. He let out a sigh and grabbed his stuffed animal, feeling his face grow hot. Why would he dream about Akaashi like that? And why does he feel this way? Stop. It was just a dream. Early morning sunlight shone through his curtains, lighting up a few corners of his room and bed. He was lay on his side with the sheets tangled within his leg, a groan escapes his mouth when the realisation that he had to make the bed came into play. He rubs his neck and sits up, trying to locate his shirt. The alarm was still blaring out of his phone, “Shut up...” He grumbles, finally turning it off. Bokuto closes his eyes and remembers the dream he just woke up from, “I- Ah...” He tries to snap away the thoughts and feelings that wouldn’t budge. He feels as if he should be disgusted with what just happened, but he was far from. </p>
<p>Although they were old friends, Bokuto knew he could never confess the true way he felt. He was afraid that he would ruin the friendship and Akaashi would go off into hiding for a while again. Isn’t that just a tiny bit messed up? Bokuto tried his best to forget about what happened and proceeded to get dressed for work. He looked into the mirror and cringed silently, his face was flushed red. The blush didn’t seem to be going anywhere. <br/>Leave it to him to have a dream about his friend. </p>
<p>“Keiji, see me after class today, buddy.” Every single day this week, Bokuto has said those words to Akaashi without a single ounce of regret. Every single day he has found a reason to keep Akaashi back after class, whether it’s for extra studying, something he did wrong, or maybe just for a genuine conversation. Akaashi groaned and put his head on the table, Bokuto smiles widely and moves back to the front of the classroom. However today was a weird one, Akaashi could usually pin point what he had done or hadn’t done to stay behind after class. Right now, he didn’t have an absolute clue. It wouldn’t surprise Akaashi that he was being kept behind for breathing too loudly at this point. Akaashi assumed that Bokuto just simply enjoyed his presence and company, or maybe he just enjoyed being a tiny little tease. Akaashi felt for his phone and blushed, getting flashbacks of what happened at home yesterday. Running around the house, the kitchen mishap, all of it flew through his brain over and over. Koutorou Bokuto had became a tease, and Akaashi hated the fact that he almost enjoyed it. <i>Almost.</i> Bokuto chuckled at the beginning of the class and Akaashi squinted at him, he didn’t realise why Bokuto was chuckling until Akaashi caught his own reflection in the window. He was red. Dark, dark red. </p>
<p>At this point, Akaashi was confused and annoyed. He didn’t want to admit that Bokuto was slowly having an impact on him, that irritated him more than anything else would. Class ends when the bells deafens everyone in the room, Akaashi silently watches every body leave with their friends into sheer freedom, wishing he could join them all and go home. After everyone had left, Akaashi stood up and walked to the front desk with his hands in his pockets. “What did I do today then? Because I’m not gonna lie, I actually don’t know.” Akaashi rolled his eyes.  </p>
<p>Bokuto smiled and clicked his tongue, tilting his head to the left. He picked up a piece of folded paper and Akaashi pursed his bottom lip out of confusion, “I never took you for the guy to be passing notes out... but you never fail to surprise me.” Akaashi bit the inside of his cheek, never once breaking eye contact. “You are aware that by the laws of this job, I can’t let this go, right?” There was amusement laced in his voice, happiness tinted in his eyes. Bokuto was having fun. </p>
<p>Akaashi groans and runs a hand through his hair. He doesn’t know anybody in this class, he simply refuses to talk to anyone due to the fact that they probably already know who he is. He’s the missing kid that showed up out of the blue, redoing a year to finally graduate. Even if Akaashi did have something to say, he’d usually keep it to himself. “You never took me for the note type and yet here you are accusing me of that,” Akaashi sighed. “I’ve never seen that damn piece of paper in my life, Koutorou.” </p>
<p>“Then I suppose you’ll be fine with me opening it then?” Akaashi shrugged, he couldn’t care less. Bokuto’s smile was replaced by a smirk. He was getting a kick out of this. He slowly unfolded the piece of paper, but as soon as he read it, his smile dropped and his demeanour was off. Akaashi noticed this, but before he could ask Bokuto had already slid the note away into a notebook. “You- Never mind, it’s fine.” </p>
<p>“What? What was it?” Akaashi looked at the teacher in front of him, the demeanour had changed. His eyes were cloudy, his smile had faltered and he was slouching, funnily enough his hair was drooping too. Bokuto shakes his head and Akaashi decided not to press on further. “What do you want me to do?” Akaashi silently hoped that he’d be able to get back into writing in the notebook he was gifted, he had a lot of thoughts to get out today and the majority of them included Bokuto and yesterday’s phone scenario. </p>
<p>“Do what you want... that’s all. I don’t care.” Bokuto muttered, and Akaashi nodded slightly and walked back to his desk. Once Akaashi had sat down, he pulled out the notebook and a pen from his backpack, beginning to write down how he felt. Even though expressing emotions were not easy, Bokuto hit the nail on the head when he told Akaashi to write them down. It was easier this way. After around ten minutes, Bokuto slowly stood up. “Going to take a leak, I’ll be back in a few-“ Akaashi nodded. “Don’t be a dick.” As the door closed behind him Akaashi looks up at the desk. The note is still there. <br/>He bites the inside of his cheek, debating if he should go and read what was on it. After all, whatever was written down must be pretty bad if Bokuto could get upset over it. Was the word upset? Bokuto looked more conflicted, rather than sad. Regardless, the note had Akaashi’s name written on it so he did have a right to see. If anyone had anything bad to say about him, Akaashi would like to know sooner than later. <br/>Akaashi quickly walks up to the front desk and opens the notebook. The note is in his sight, he picks it up and unfolds it gently. The handwriting wasn’t familiar to him, it wasn’t messy though, it was more neat and organised. Akaashi reads the message and heat rises up his neck, landing onto his cheeks soon after. There was a drawing of both Bokuto and Akaashi. One is pinning the other against the wall with their lips planted together. Akaashi’s breath hitches in his throat when he reads the words underneath. </p>
<p>
  <i>Who knew you’d have the hots for a teacher? I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I wonder what really goes on after school. </i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Detention</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Look, I know how you were raised dumbass I was there too, so I know you know what the word ‘don’t’ means and yet here you are,” Akaashi jumps at the voice coming from behind him, refusing to turn around as the blood rushes to his head. He knew Bokuto was right, Akaashi did understand what the word meant and yes, they were raised together. Yet, that just seems to add more questions, how is that Koutorou Bokuto can be so silent on his feet now? Four years ago, you could hear his footsteps from three miles away with a ten minute grace period before he even arrived. Akaashi shrugs and turns around, hoping the blush in his face had gone down. There he was, leaning against the doorframe with a smirk plastered onto his face. Akaashi was unamused. He saunters closer towards the student almost silently, once again, raising much more questions. Bokuto gently pulls the piece of paper out of Akaashi’s hands, using his free hand to close the open notebook on his desk. Akaashi looks down at the book, wondering what was so important that Bokuto had to close it. Eventually ruling it out that it probably contained student information, he left the question unanswered. Bokuto faces Akaashi and sighs gently, dangling the note above his head just the same as he did with his phone the other day. He was playing a dangerous game getting a head start on Akaashi like that, again. He sighs and scratches his neck. </p><p>“You know I already saw it, right?” Akaashi points towards the note in his hand with a nonchalant attitude. Bokuto laughs, Akaashi rolls his eyes. </p><p>“What? Do you think i’m an idiot? Of course I know,” Bokuto folds it up before tearing it into pieces. “Tell me, Keiji, what’s your opinion on it then?” </p><p>Akaashi purses his lips, “Opinion on what?” His question was hesitantly asked, as if he was afraid of the response he would receive.  Bokuto had a funny way of showing how he feels without using words, Akaashi had picked up on somethings recently. When he’s looking for trouble, his golden eyes no longer shine, they grow dark and shadowed. It was enough to send a grown man into panic. Bokuto has never, and usually will never, be classed as dangerous outside of the court but if you were to look into his eyes right now, your opinion would change. Akaashi felt heat rise into his face again as they made eye contact, he tried to ignore it. </p><p>“The cute, little note... don’t tell me you’ve already forgotten?” Bokuto fakes a worried look. “Looks like someone’s catching onto us, onto the way I look at you.” Akaashi’s breath hitched at the back of his throat, Bokuto had to be messing around. There was no certain way that he’d look at Akaashi, other than a way that would take the mick out of each other. </p><p>Akaashi slides his hands into his pockets and smirks, “Oh yeah? Sorry, you must’ve been dreaming that.” </p><p>“What’re you implying with that, Akaashi?” </p><p>“It’s Keiji to you, sir.” Akaashi holds back a smile of proudness as Bokuto’s eyes widen. Finally, some well needed self confidence. “And i’m not implying anything other than the blatant truth, there’s nothing to catch onto with us and that’s simply because, Sir, there is no us.” Bokuto is sitting on his desk again, legs swinging into the air like a little child on the swings in the park. His hand is on the notebook, hiding the something. Maybe it wasn’t student information. Akaashi takes a step back and sits on the edge of a desk, trying to make it less obvious that he was eyeing that book. Dying to know what was inside it. Akaashi was nosey, he always has been, especially when it comes to Bokuto’s secrets. He needed to read it. </p><p>“Hm... okay then, tell me.” Bokuto’s voice was laced with amusement, he was clearly having fun. “When you say the blatant truth, what exactly would that be?” Akaashi looked up towards the man at the front of the classroom, he was smiling widely. The new question was, why was he having so much fun? </p><p>Akaashi points towards the torn up note, sitting on the desk in a small, organised pile. “That. We both know for a fact it won’t happen, and that it never will... that’s the blatant truth. It’s also very obvious.” Bokuto starts to laugh a lot harder, his head was thrown back and his shoulders were bouncing. Akaashi stared at him in awe, Bokuto’s laugh had always been something that could warm up a freezing room. The realisation hit in that Bokuto was laughing at him, not with him, and annoyance grew quicker than he could teach a class. Akaashi pouts and blushes a little, slightly embarrassed. He had never liked being laughed at, Bokuto knew that. “Are you gonna tell me what’s funny or should I just leave?” The hope was to get an explanation about why he was laughing, instead Bokuto just laughed harder, gripping onto the desk in hopes that he had the strength to not fall off it. Akaashi glares. Fine, be that way. </p><p>“Ah, Keiji Akaashi, are you also implying that you don’t find me attractive and are not attracted to me?” Bokuto stops laughing and smirks, slightly out of breath. His jawline was sharp enough to cut raw meat cleanly, Akaashi had never noticed that before. “Because, no offence... but you’re not the type to hold secrets. Everyone who’s ever known you, knows that. So I doubt that you don’t, and aren’t.” </p><p>“T-Those are two very different questions, naturally they’d both get different answers...” Akaashi stumbled over his sentence, unwillingly flustered at the way Bokuto worded his phrase. However, Bokuto nodded slowly, agreeing. “To answer the first, shittily worded question, are you attractive? Yeah, to a whole lot of people. There are so many people who’d die to be seen with you simply because of your looks, b-but... i’m not one of those people.” He tries to act confident, but ends up stuttering. Bokuto smirks wider, knowing that Akaashi was lying straight through his teeth. Akaashi was never a good liar, unless he needed to hide the way he felt from a certain group of people, then the task wasn’t so easy. Most times, he can get away with it quite swiftly, but Bokuto knew him and has always known him. Bokuto has always known the little fidgets, the stutters, the avoidance, he knows what all that means. So in other words, lying to the owl, was dangerous. Akaashi just refused to admit that. </p><p>“Well... thats- Oh? You’re not one of those people?” Bokuto tilts his head to the side and Akaashi instinctively fumbled with his thumbs. His hair falls to cover his left eye, but that didn’t stop him at all. Akaashi refused to notice the small flips his stomach does when Bokuto looks at him like that, he refused to admit that Bokuto does something to him and has done since the phone fiasco. “Are you sure about that, Akaashi?” </p><p>He sits up and crosses his arm, “Sorry to break it to you, but no, i’m not.” </p><p>“Interesting...” Bokuto had grown quiet and Akaashi suddenly felt a little bit more nervous than he did two minutes ago.  He wondered what he found out, and how he could use it against him. Bokuto was quick to catch onto small things like that, he always has been. “I’ve come to realise that you look awfully good in a button down shirt, would you agree?” Akaashi blushed again, Bokuto smiled. “I must say, when i’m trying to teach... you’re one hell of a distraction...” Bokuto looks Akaashi up and down with dark eyes, running a hand through his messy hair. Bokuto licks his lips slowly, Akaashi couldn’t seem to move away his gaze. “How am I supposed to help you graduate, if you’re my distraction?” Akaashi can barely accept the fact that he just admit that, for someone who used to be so shy and get flustered over the smallest of things, he definitely changed.  Bokuto’s eyes met Akaashi’s and suddenly he was at a loss for words, for someone who claimed they weren’t attracted to him, Akaashi’s face was a deep shade of red. Bokuto jumps down off his desk, leaning forward into Akaashi’s neck when he’s close enough. </p><p>“What, I-“ Akaashi began to speak but closed his mouth as quick as he opened it, not only was Bokuto biting his lips, he happened to be playing with the hem of Akaashi’s shirt. </p><p>“Then answer me this, Keiji...” Bokuto’s voice had dropped four octaves lower, sending nothing but pure fear and anticipation all throughout Akaashi’s body. “Do you want to try it, Keiji? We could if we tried...” His voice was practically a moan within itself, Akaashi couldn’t think straight even if he tried. He pulled apart a button and gently caressed the bare skin, Akaashi flinched gently, not sure what to say. </p><p>He can’t think straight at all, his brain was as cloudy as the skies outside. Akaashi moved backwards slightly and avoided looking into Bokuto’s eyes. “I- Uh... I’m not really sure what you mean...” Bokuto grabbed a handful of Akaashi’s shirt and pulled him closer, practically growling underneath his breath. </p><p>“Don’t act dumb, the note.” His voice was as dark as his gaze, taking control of the situation swiftly. “We could try it out, you know we could make it work.” Akaashi’s mind immediately went to kissing Bokuto, having him pinning Akaashi against the storeroom wall. Their lips would roughly press up against each other as both men would groan into the kiss. Akaashi’s face flushed a dark, crimson red. He shook his head no. </p><p>“I- I’m... i’m okay-“ Bokuto grabs more of his shirt, leaning in closer than ever. Akaashi could feel his hot breath against his face, licking his lips hungrily when Akaashi pulls back, shy. “I- S- Stop...” </p><p>“Are you sure that’s what you want me to do, love?” The sudden nickname brought Akaashi back to present reality, according to present day, Koutarou Bokuto was a very slick and smooth man. Akaashi places his hands onto Bokuto’s chest, pushing him off without a second thought of how well built he was. However, he only managed to resist by wrapping his arms around Akaashi’s waist. “What’s wrong, Kaashi?” The smirk on his face had managed to grow even bigger. “Aren’t you attracted to me? If we’re being technical, you never answered.” </p><p>Akaashi swallowed his pride and dignity, responding with something that would cause the boy to choose death over anything else on planet Earth. “Of course, sir! I’m oh so terribly attracted to you!” Although his words were laced with toxicity and sarcasm, it was no secret that the redness on Akaashi’s face meant it was no less embarrassing to say. “It’s as if i’m falling for you every time I gaze into your eyes!” Bokuto erupted into laughter again, struggling to even let air in. His hair bounces and his cheeks were flushed a little red, Bokuto was having much more fun than Akaashi bothered to anticipate. </p><p>Although having being friends for years, Bokuto’s duality was still as bone chilling as ever. One second Bokuto would say something like, “C’mon! Let’s go get ice cream! Or shakes... boba? Nah. I’m up for ice cream.” Then the next second or minute afterwards, he had an unfamiliar glow into his eyes and the words that escaped his mouth were nothing smooth taunts. Bokuto let  go of Akaashi and without a second though, the student quickly walked back to his desk, ignoring the burning sensation in the back of his head that was caused by the owls intent gaze. Bokuto wanted to play games, when in reality all Akaashi craved was to go home. <br/>In a split second, Akaashi looked at the notebook under Bokuto’s arm and squinted. He had never hid something or protected anything with such intent focus before, so naturally curiosity overcame any other thoughts. Akaashi wanted to get his hands on that book, although they haven’t seen each other in too long a time, Akaashi knew there was something in that book that had his name on it. Then came the guilt, waltzing back into his old friends life and pretending nothing had ever happened. That wasn’t fair. Akaashi frowned, coming back to school was stressful in more than one way. The fear of running into old teammates, or old friends. Even running into Oikawa, although they only spoke once or twice, that conversation would be awkward alone. Akaashi put his head onto the table, detention was over soon. He just had to hold out until then.</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. I Lived</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Covers heavy topics, read with caution.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a saturday, no school, no stress from the outside world, nothing like that at all. Akaashi was wrapped up comfortably in bed, sound asleep. There were no bad dreams or bad taunts, it was the type of sleep that left you waking up refreshed. Akaashi’s mother knocked on the door, walking in afterwards. Akaashi didn’t move a muscle, but hummed, signifying that she had woken him successfully. Usually, Akaashi would sleep in until late noon, there were no other plans besides from sleeping, therefore being no reason why he should be awake so early. Most of the time, he’d wake up every couple of hours but force himself to go back to sleep, Akaashi was stressed most times than none so sleep really helped with that. “Mornin’...” Akaashi’s voice was deep and raspy, though his mother took no notice to it. </p>
<p>“Honey,” Akaashi sat up almost immediately, squinting at her. Whenever she started off a conversation with a nickname, it was usually going to end up in a way that didn’t benefit him at all. “I would’ve told you earlier but... well, you were going back to school and I didn’t want to put a chip into that. But... I have to go on a business trip for some time, or well, or month or two.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Akaashi muttered. </p>
<p>“And well, I don’t really want you to be alone for that long for a lot of other reasons,” Akaashi pushed out the memories of what she was talking about, those thoughts hadn’t crossed his mind for a couple of weeks. However, if they had, they were forced to stay quiet. “So I invited someone to come and stay with you, they told me not to tell you who though... but they’ll be here around four tonight so you have time to sleep and sort yourself out. I’m sorry I have to leave on such short notice, there’s money for food in my drawer and if that isn’t enough then please use my spare card.” Akaashi pulled the duvet closer, the feeling of loneliness grew a lot larger within that second. His mother was one of the very few people that Akaashi actually enjoyed the presence of, home felt much more like home rather than just a house when  she was there. Regardless, the thought of who it would be that was staying here is the question with the scariest answer. It could range to an aunt or an uncle, to someone such as Bokuto. Akaashi’s mother could’ve picked either, and both would’ve been just as scary as each other. </p>
<p>“I’m fine on my own.” Akaashi mumbled, trying to sound convincing although it didn’t necessarily work. Akaashi’s mother shook her head and sighed, rubbing his back in a circular motion. Akaashi teared up a little, he loved his mother and seeing her go for that long was a little painful. “Please stay.” </p>
<p>Akaashi’s mother was silent for a couple of minutes, as if she truly was debating the situation and staying home. After a while, she shook her head. “I wish I could, but I promise you the person that’s coming over really loves you, okay? I trust them with you, though I’m not saying I don’t trust you! Of course I do but-“ </p>
<p>“I understand, I do... don’t stress.” He meant the words that came out of his mouth, Akaashi did understand. He just didn’t <i>want</i> to. Akaashi has been and will always be a mother’s boy, when he was younger they did almost everything together. His mother taught him how to cook, even introduced him to volleyball. So, the sudden business trip that is unfortunately coming along with her being away for so long was a shock. He didn’t want her to leave, not at all. Akaashi didn’t care if somebody was coming over to keep him company, they were not his mother. “I just- Are you sure? I mean... not about the trip, but this stranger coming over. I say stranger, I don’t know if they are. I- I can cook, I can clean, I can wash up and do laundry... I can be alone, I’m- I’m better, I-“ Akaashi stopped himself when he saw the look on his mother’s face, she wanted to believe the lies coming out of his mouth. Akaashi wasn’t better, he himself knew that. The idea of telling himself that he was long enough until he actually began to felt okay was paying off, but no matter what, at the end of the day. A lie is still a lie. </p>
<p>“Listen, Akaashi. Getting better doesn’t just happen overnight or over a week sweetheart, you need to let your heart and soul heal. Healing takes time, sometimes it’s a long time and sometimes it isn’t. But I know you, you’re my son. I’d be happier if you had someone with you, to help you feel a little better.” Akaashi bit the inside of his cheek, unwillingly agreeing that she was right. After everything that had happened, going missing for just over a year, still ghost to multiple people because he’s afraid of how it’ll all end up. None of that was getting better. Akaashi still technically was missing to all except one, the words that were said still hurt and the fear still existed. Akaashi’s mother figured something was wrong and pulled him close, he hesitated before wrapping his arms around her. “I know it’s hard, and I know you’re going through much more than you tell me and that’s okay. I don’t need to know everything instantly, tell me at your own pace. Honey, remember... you don’t always need to fight your battles alone. Whether that’s with me, Bokuto or any other people you associate with. We have your back, no matter what.” </p>
<p>Akaashi felt tears sting his eyes but held them back, he didn’t want to cry in front of her and delay her anymore. Akaashi nodded, “I- I know.” His voice cracked, and he could barely push out the words but at least he said it. Akaashi sat there for a couple of minutes embraced within his mother’s arms, comfortable and warm. She felt like home, smelled like cinnamon and vanilla. A hug was well needed, even though Akaashi had refused to even see that. “I... are you sure you can’t tell me who’s coming over?” </p>
<p>His mother pulled back and shook her head smiling, tapping the bridge of her nose with her index finger. “Nope! Said person wanted to be kept a secret until they come here, they have a spare key too so... don’t go attacking anybody who walks inside okay?” Akaashi let his mother wipe his eyes as he half smiled, knowing that if anything went wrong again, his mother would have his back no matter what. </p>
<p>“How long until you need to go?” </p>
<p>She looked at her watch, sighing. “About fifteen minutes until I set off, which isn’t long. Why? Do you want to talk to me about something?” </p>
<p>Akaashi held the duvet close and fumbled with his fingers underneath, he was afraid. The butterflies in his stomach were toxic, filling his mind with vivid images of what should happen if he does this, or that. Vivid ideas to hurt himself or someone else. It was all too scary for him, Akaashi needed a shoulder. “Why do I have to try so hard to be happy, mom? It’s so... so unfair. I’m trapped inside my head and- and I’m afraid of people. But- It’s not... it’s not like I’m afraid of them attacking me because I’m not, I don’t care about that stuff... like that- that doesn’t bother me too much anymore, I got used to it but... what bothers me is what they think of me, how they see me. Because, I don’t know what that’s like... I don’t see me the way anyone else does and, and that’s what scares me because what if I mess up again? What if everyone turns their back on me again for a reason I don’t know because they never tell me?” </p>
<p>“Akaashi...” </p>
<p>Akaashi’s voice was low, almost empty. Numbness was slowly creeping up, no matter how hard he didn’t want it. “Lately, I’ve been feeling <i>so alone</i>, it’s probably my own fault too because I never make myself known, I barely even turn on my phone... it- it just sits there because I’m too afraid to open it. Too scared to do anything. It’s lonely walking down this road, mom, everyone I had at my side shoved me down a crack in the road and left me hanging on for dear life without even reaching out a hand. I’m scared that if I need them again they’ll just disappear, would that even be surprising? I don’t know! That’s the thing... I don’t ever know.” Akaashi’s mother sat and listened to every word her son had to say without once breaking focus, it had been a while before Akaashi had opened up as much as this whether it be due to fear of being heard or just simply having no motivation to speak up. Akaashi was getting bad, owns the news of his mother leaving added on top of that greatly. “I try, I try my best to say I don’t care this or I don’t care that but the only thing my mind goes to is the stuff I pretend not to care about, of course I care about it! It hurt me! Am I allowed... to feel that way? When I wake up, I don’t wanna do anything. So I don’t do anything, I waste my own time so I can go back to sleep. I- I’m sorry... I... I- I’m done, just- yeah.” Akaashi avoided looking up at his mother, who was frowning with tears in her eyes. </p>
<p>“You listen to me, okay? I know it’s hard, god I do. I know the feeling of waking up and it just being empty, I know the feeling of forcing yourself back to sleep because you hate being awake. I know, I understand. But look at me, no- look at me.” Akaashi’s mother gently guided his face, so his eyes met hers. Akaashi’s eyes were both glassy, like a dolls. Numb. Empty. “I lived. I lived through all of that, I lived through every single moment life threw at me and I came out. You hear me? I lived. I lived to finish school, get a degree and have a beautiful son. And I will never not be happy at this outcome, you are everything I could wish for. So hear this, live. Get out that other side, I don’t care how long it’ll take, I’ll always be proud of you.” </p>
<p>Akaashi slowly smiled and nodded, after letting some things out and hearing that in response, he was feeling a tiny bit better. “Thank you,” Akaashi looked at the clock and gently pushed her away, “Go! You’ll be late...” She jumped up and smiled. </p>
<p>“You know where everything is, they’re coming around four so go back to sleep! Uh... there’s a note on the counter for the both of you, trust me, you’ll have fun. You’re gonna get through it, honey.” Akaashi climbed out of bed, the bandage on his wrist lifting up a little. His mother noticed, but simply pulled  him close. “I love you so very much, okay? I’ll be back before you know it, don’t worry. Text me if you get lonely though! Bye!” With that, she ran out the door and was on her way to the airport. Akaashi sat down on the edge of his bed and sighed, either the next two months were going to be decent or extremely lonely. Akaashi caught a glimpse of an old volleyball in the back of his closet, he stood up and closed the closet door. </p>
<p>The ball itself brought back memories, too many to even begin to handle. Akaashi climbed back into bed and closed his eyes, hoping and praying that he could say it too. <i>That he lived.</i></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Housemate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akaashi slept somewhat soundly as the stranger a floor below dragged in suitcases upon suitcases of luggage without even making a sound. The person downstairs decided that it’d be best to let Akaashi sleep, after all, his mother seemed pretty determined to keep him asleep today. It wasn’t until the sound of a bag hitting the floor woke him up, it was around four fifteen, so his mother was technically correct about them arriving around four. Akaashi wrapped a blanket around his shoulders to keep warm and slowly crept downstairs to see who would be temporarily moving in for the time being, it was more or less a fifty percent chance of it being someone he knew or someone he didn’t. Akaashi’s stomach turned, he was nervous. Not only is having someone in your house, who isn’t usually there, odd within itself but they’re staying much longer than a couple of days. Akaashi sat at the top of the stairs and watched the hooded man struggle with the bags, he would’ve gone down and helped but the persons build was familiar. It sent an odd feeling to his stomach. “Akaashi, you should be a better friend. Sitting there and watching me struggle, how rude is that?” The odd feeling suddenly exploded when they started to talk, of course it would end up like this. Why <i>wouldn’t</i> his mother pick him? That explains the being secretive, he wanted to be the happy surprise that lit up Akaashi’s world without a second glance. </p><p>“So you’re the one moving in, Bokuto.” Akaashi chuckled, in a tired way. Then the chuckle turned to a groan as he climbed down the stairs and began to help his troubled owl friend. Akaashi opened the front door wider to pull a bag in, he was going to be sharing a house with Bokuto for the next two months. See, that part was fine when it’s worded that way. However, Keiji Akaashi was going to be living with his extreme tease of a teacher who truly doesn’t know when to put a lid on it. Ah see, much more dangerous. Akaashi can’t help but think about how his mother did just happen to leave without fully asking how he felt about it, of course they managed to talk about what was going on inside his head, but that wasn’t the same as being asked your opinion. It’s past four fifteen now, and all of Bokuto’s bags seem to be inside the house. Akaashi closes the front door and leant against it. “I’m tired, you could’ve helped more.” </p><p>“Hey! Remember Akaashi, you were <i>literally</i> the one sat on the stairs watching!” Bokuto pointed out with a huge gasp, Akaashi shrugged and nodded. “And I’m the one that could’ve helped more? That’s ridiculously, ridiculous.” Akaashi couldn’t help but smile, hoping that finally he’d have some light into his life. That light would be, in fact, no one other than Bokuto. </p><p>“Yeah,” Akaashi stood up and grabbed him by the sleeve, dragging him around the house. “So welcome home, I guess.” Akaashi leads Bokuto up the stairs and down the corridor, opposite from his room. There were only two doors on this end of the hallway, the bathroom was up the other end so showering was usually a cold journey back if you didn’t want to get changed in the bathroom. Akaashi opened the door and let Bokuto step inside, stars were in his eyes. </p><p>“It’s blue! Like the sky! And- and... is that an <i>owl</i> picture?! Akaashi!” The walls were a deep blue, Akaashi’s mother loved owls but couldn’t find a new place for the paintings to go after she decorated, so they stayed in the spare bedroom. Akaashi had completely forgotten about them until right this second, Bokuto falling onto the double bed snapped him out of his thoughts. “Woah! It’s so comfy! Bro, when you’re mom comes back, I’m so... moving in!” </p><p>“You are definitely not,” Akaashi stood out in the hall and waited for Bokuto to come join him. Once they were both stood together, Akaashi pointed to each and every door in the hallway, listing what they were and if he should go inside or not. Within ten minutes, Bokuto understood that the nine</p><p>Akashi slept somewhat soundly as the stranger a floor below dragged in suitcases upon suitcases of luggage without even making a sound. The person downstairs decided that it’d be best to let Akaashi sleep, after all, his mother seemed pretty determined to keep him asleep today. It wasn’t until the sound of a bag hitting the floor woke him up, it was around four fifteen, so his mother was technically correct. Akaashi wrapped a blanket around his shoulders to keep warm and slowly crept downstairs to see who would be temporarily moving in for the time being, it was more or less a fifty percent chance of it being someone he knew or someone he didn’t. Akaashi’s stomach turned, he was nervous. Not only is having someone in your house, who isn’t usually there, odd within itself but they’re staying much longer than a couple of days. Akaashi sat at the top of the stairs and watched the hooded man struggle with the bags, he would’ve gone down and helped but the persons build was familiar. It sent an odd feeling to his stomach. “Akaashi, you should be a better friend. Sitting there and watching me struggle, how rude is that?” The odd feeling suddenly exploded when they started to talk, of course it would end up like this. Why wouldn’t his mother pick him? That explains the being secretive, he wanted to be the happy surprise that lit up Akaashi’s world without a second glance. </p><p>“So you’re the one moving in, Bokuto.” Akaashi chuckled, in a tired way. Then the chuckle turned to a groan as he climbed down the stairs and began to help his troubled owl friend. Akaashi opens the front door wider to pull a bag in, he was going to be sharing a house with Bokuto for the next two months. See, that part was fine when it’s worded that way. However, Keiji Akaashi was going to be living with his extremely tease of a teacher who truly doesn’t know when to put a lid on it. Ah see, much more dangerous. Akaashi can’t help but think about how his mother did just happen to leave without fully asking how he felt about it, of course they managed to talk about what was going on inside his head, but that wasn’t the same as being asked your opinion. It’s past four fifteen now, and all of Bokuto’s bags seem to be inside the house. Akaashi closes the front door and leans against it. “I’m tired, you could’ve helped more.” </p><p>“Hey! Remember Akaashi, you were literally the one sat on the stairs watching!” Bokuto pointed out with a huge gasp, Akaashi shrugged and nodded. “And i’m the one that could’ve helped more? That’s ridiculously, ridiculous.” Akaashi couldn’t help but smile, hoping that finally he’d have some light into his life. That light would be, in fact, no one other than Bokuto. </p><p>“Yeah,” Akaashi stood up and grabbed him by the sleeve, dragging him around the house. “So welcome home, I guess.” Akaashi leads Bokuto up the stairs and down the corridor, opposite from his room. There were only two doors on this end of the hallway, the bathroom was up the other end so showering was usually a cold journey home if you didn’t want to get changed in the bathroom. Akaashi opens the door and lets Bokuto step inside, stars were in his eyes. </p><p>“It’s blue! Like the sky! And- and... is that an owl picture?! Akaashi!” The walls were a deep blue, Akaashi’s mother loved owls but couldn’t find a new place for the paintings to go after she decorated, so they stayed in the spare bedroom. Akaashi had completely forgotten about them until right this second, Bokuto falling onto the double bed snapped him out of his thoughts. “Woah! It’s so comfy! Bro, when you’re mom comes back, i’m so... moving in!” </p><p>“You are definitely not,” Akaashi stood out in the hall and waited for Bokuto to come join him. Once they were both stood together, Akaashi pointed to each and every door in the hallway, listing what they were and if he should go inside or not. Within ten minutes, Bokuto understood that the only room off limits what Akaashi’s mother, the idea of that was simply disturbing so they both ruled it off as a strong no. “Any questions?” Akaashi places a backpack onto the spare bed, wondering how it was possible to even get him to be doing such labour on a saturday like this. Bokuto was too busy smiling up at the boy to answer. “Bokuto?” </p><p>“Mhm?” Still smiling, Akaashi shuffled on his feet. </p><p>“Any questions?” He muttered, avoiding eye contact and blushing a tad. Bokuto sat up on the bed, wrapping his arms around Akaashi and pulling him down close. Akaashi tensed up but relaxed soon after, Bokuto was being gentle, he wasn’t playing around or being a tease. His grip was gentle and his touch was soft, Akaashi exhaled slowly. </p><p>“Two.” Bokuto whispered, staring up at the ceiling with a warm smile. “What if we fight and... well, how are you doing?” Both questions caught Akaashi by surprise, he wasn’t expecting either of them to be as serious as that. Akaashi thought about the first one for a moment, if they have a fight the chances of Akaashi hiding in his room until he felt better were much higher than usual. He didn’t want to appear weak, so the bedroom option was the best. </p><p>“We can just take a day from each other, or something.” </p><p>“Like a married couple would!” Bokuto laughed, bouncing Akaashi’s body with his. Akaashi had positioned himself to be wrapped in Bokuto’s arms with his head on his chest. It was comfortable, the sound of Bokuto’s heartbeat sounded like home, like warmth. As if he had truly been found. “You never answered the second question though...” Bokuto whispered, gently running circles on Akaashi’s back. He still didn’t open his mouth. “You know it’s okay to ask for help and say that you’re not doing so great, there’s nothing wrong with any of that! It’s not weak or something like that at all, so speak up if you need to dumbass.” Akaashi closed his eyes and nodded slowly not wanting to talk, he didn’t even want to move. His sleep was interrupted, so he felt much more tired than he should’ve been. Bokuto sighed. “If you won’t talk, then at least help me unpack okay?” </p><p>Akaashi sat up and stretched, before standing up and opening a bag. “You’re not hiding anything weird are you?” Akaashi muttered to Bokuto, who had just finished shoving something underneath his pillow. Akaashi pretended not to see, it was probably something important or sentimental, like a necklace that was now too small or broken, or a good luck charm. Akaashi pulled out a stuffed animal, and almost dropped it. When the two were back in high school together, Akaashi would get Bokuto a stuffed owl every year for his birthday. It was an unspoken and unlisted rule to always proceed with it, so Akaashi always ended up getting a different breed of owl every year. Last year, Akaashi was sick and missed the exact day but still sent him an owl, a snowy owl. The stuffed animal in his hands, was that owl. “You kept it?” </p><p>Bokuto hummed, before sheepishly grinning. “Duh! It was like- I don’t know... the last thing you ever gave me? Of course I kept it! I missed you, and I couldn’t just show up at your house because- I mean- You always told me not to show up without saying anything,” Bokuto folded up laundry and placed them into the drawers, he fell quiet for a moment. “I named him Akaashi, because I didn’t think i’d ever see you again.” Akaashi didn’t say anything, he just stared down at the owl with numb eyes. He didn’t feel regret about leaving, he just regretted not being able to say good bye. Akaashi was too afraid to, the idea was too blurry. His hands begin to shake. “Akaashi?” </p><p>“I’m- I’m okay.” Akaashi had pushed out the words too quickly for them to even come across as slightly believable. His voice was shaky, his eye sight was a little<br/>
blurry. Something that was going to unbelievably well had managed to go so very wrong. “I- Just... I’m going to, to go.” Akaashi dropped the owl and stood up before Bokuto could even protest. He was in his room with the door locked and his body pressed against it, shaking. He didn’t know why he was shaking, all he knew was that he needed it to stop. Bokuto was in the room across the hall, concerned and worried, but he knew to lay off. The new sound was wrong, silence. With Akaashi’s mother gone and Bokuto too worried to make his presence known, the world was thrown into a disgusting and uncomfortable silence. Akaashi grabbed clean clothes and hurried off into the shower, hoping that the sound of the water would fix the issues. </p><p>Bokuto rolled into his back and yawned, stretching as he did so. He had managed to finish unpack all of his belongings about an hour after Akaashi had left the room and decided to shower. The shower was still on, and the water was still going at it. Bokuto sighed, wanting to be the person Akaashi can talk to. Though, it was never going to be that easy, not with Akaashi. Bokuto understood that before, so he can understand it again. Akaashi was rarely open about how he truly feels until he was at breaking point, even then it wouldn’t be words that’d come out, it’d be sobs in the locker room or screams in the showers. Bokuto wouldn’t know what to do, so all he did was stand outside the door and listen to the sound of Akaashi’s heartbreaking. Then it broke one too many times, because of him, and then Akaashi wasn’t seen at school again. Bokuto held the stuffed owl to his chest, trying to think of ways to do something, to be helpful and cheer him up but that sad reality is, Bokuto had never been good at that until recently.<br/>
Bokuto rolled around in bed, irritated. He’s supposed to be there, to be helpful and all he can think of doing is pulling off a shitty prank. Bokuto jumped up and ran downstairs, grabbing a bag of flour from the kitchen and then proceeded to run to the bathroom. The water was still running, Bokuto opened the door as quietly as ever, getting a face full of steam. Bokuto automatically assumed that the water was on the highest, or something close to that temperature. Again, something Akaashi had always been the type of person to have extra hot showers. Bokuto opened the bag of flour and smiled. </p><p>“Dumbass! Smile more often!” Bokuto yelled out and poured the flour over the side of the shower. Akaashi stopped the water and stood there for a moment, covered in flour. </p><p>“I wonder,” Akaashi peeked his head out from behind the shower curtain. “Do you want me to kill you?” They both decided that the only room off limits was Akaashi’s mother, the idea of Bokuto hanging around in her was simply disturbing so they both ruled it off as a strong no. “Any questions?” Akaashi placed a backpack onto the spare bed, wondering how it was possible to even get him to be doing such labour on a saturday like this. Bokuto was too busy smiling up at the boy to answer. “Bokuto?” </p><p>“Mhm?” Still smiling, Akaashi shuffled on his feet. </p><p>“Any questions?” He muttered, avoiding eye contact and blushing a tad. Bokuto sat up on the bed, wrapping his arms around Akaashi and pulling him down close. Akaashi tensed up but relaxed soon after, Bokuto was being gentle, he wasn’t playing around or being a tease. His grip was gentle and his touch was soft, Akaashi exhaled slowly. </p><p>“Two.” Bokuto whispered, staring up at the ceiling with a warm smile. “What if we fight and... well, how are you doing?” Both questions caught Akaashi by surprise, he wasn’t expecting either of them to be as serious as that. Akaashi thought about the first one for a moment, if they have a fight the chances of Akaashi hiding in his room until he felt better were much higher than usual. He didn’t want to appear weak, so the bedroom option was the best. </p><p>“We can just take a day from each other, or something.” </p><p>“Like a married couple would!” Bokuto laughed, bouncing Akaashi’s body with his. Akaashi had positioned himself to be wrapped in Bokuto’s arms with his head on his chest. It was comfortable, the sound of Bokuto’s heartbeat sounded like home, like warmth. As if he had truly been found. “You never answered the second question though...” Bokuto whispered, gently running circles on Akaashi’s back. He still didn’t open his mouth. “You know it’s okay to ask for help and say that you’re not doing so great, there’s nothing wrong with any of that! It’s not weak or something like that at all, so speak up if you need to okay, ‘Kaashi?.” Akaashi closed his eyes and nodded slowly not wanting to talk, he didn’t even want to move. His sleep was interrupted, so he felt much more tired than he should’ve been. Bokuto sighed. “If you won’t talk, then at least help me unpack okay?” </p><p>Akaashi sat up and stretched, before standing up and opening a bag. “You’re not hiding anything weird are you?” Akaashi muttered to Bokuto, who had just finished shoving something underneath his pillow. Akaashi pretended not to see, it was probably something important or sentimental, like a necklace that was now too small or broken, or a good luck charm. Akaashi pulled out a stuffed animal, and almost dropped it. When the two were back in high school together, Akaashi would get Bokuto a stuffed owl every year for his birthday. It was an unspoken and unlisted rule to always proceed with it, so Akaashi always ended up getting a different breed of owl every year. Last year, Akaashi was sick and missed the exact day but still sent him an owl, a snowy owl. The stuffed animal in his hands, was that owl. “You kept it?” </p><p>Bokuto hummed, before sheepishly grinning. “Duh! It was like- I don’t know... the last thing you ever gave me? Of course I kept it! I missed you, and I couldn’t just show up at your house because- I mean- You always told me not to show up without saying anything,” Bokuto folded up laundry and placed them into the drawers, he fell quiet for a moment. “I named him Akaashi, because I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” Akaashi didn’t say anything, he just stared down at the owl with numb eyes. He didn’t feel regret about leaving, he just regretted not being able to say goodbye. Akaashi was too afraid to, the idea was too blurry. His hands begin to shake. “Akaashi?” </p><p>“I’m- I’m okay.” Akaashi had pushed out the words too quickly for them to even come across as slightly believable. His voice was shaky, his eye sight was a little blurry. Something that was going to unbelievably well had managed to go so very wrong. “I- Just... I’m going to, to go.” Akaashi dropped the owl and stood up before Bokuto could even protest. He was in his room with the door locked and his body pressed against it, shaking. He didn’t know why he was shaking, all he knew was that he needed it to stop. Bokuto was in the room across the hall, concerned and worried, but he knew to lay off. The new sound was wrong, silence. With Akaashi’s mother gone and Bokuto too worried to make his presence known, the world was thrown into a disgusting and uncomfortable silence. Akaashi grabbed clean clothes and hurried off into the shower, hoping that the sound of the water would fix the issues. </p><p>Bokuto rolled into his back and yawned, stretching as he did so. He had managed to finish unpack all of his belongings about an hour after Akaashi had left the room and decided to shower. The shower was still on, and the water was still going at it. Bokuto sighed, wanting to be the person Akaashi can talk to. Though, it was never going to be that easy, not with Akaashi. Bokuto understood that before, so he can understand it again. Akaashi was rarely open about how he truly feels until he was at breaking point, even then it wouldn’t be words that’d come out, it’d be sobs in the locker room or screams in the showers. Bokuto wouldn’t know what to do, so all he did was stand outside the door and listen to the sound of Akaashi’s heart breaking. Then it broke one too many times, because of him, and then Akaashi wasn’t seen at school again. Bokuto held the stuffed owl to his chest, trying to think of ways to do something, to be helpful and cheer him up but that sad reality is, Bokuto had never been good at that until recently.<br/>
Bokuto rolled around in bed, irritated. He’s supposed to be there, to be helpful and all he can think of doing is pulling off a shitty prank. Bokuto jumped up and ran downstairs, grabbing a bag of flour from the kitchen and then proceeded to run to the bathroom. The water was still running, Bokuto opened the door as quietly as ever, getting a face full of steam. Bokuto automatically assumed that the water was on the highest, or something close to that temperature. Again, Akaashi had always been the type of person to have extra hot showers. Bokuto opened the bag of flour and smiled. </p><p>“Dumbass! Smile more often!” Bokuto yelled out and poured the flour over the side of the shower. Akaashi stopped the water and stood there for a moment, covered in flour. </p><p>“I wonder,” Akaashi peeked his head out from behind the shower curtain. “Do you want me to kill you?”</p>
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